Script draft

Monday, 15 February 2010
The fairy story in the toy shop
Script
                                                                             FADE IN:
                               
WIDE ON: THE CAMERA MOVES TOWARDS THE SMALL TOWN WITH A TOY SHOP.
This is an ordinary small town with few houses and
a toy shop in the centre.
CLOSE ON: CHANGES FOCUS AND FOLLOWS THE SNOWFLAKE
The snowflake soars on the wind towards the shop
and flies into the toy shop
through a small side window and falls in front
of the ballet-dancer.
 
AUTHOR (V.O.)
                       An old toy shop has been in this town
                       for many years and it was not the first time
                       when a magic unbelievable story happened here.
 
CLOSE UP: CAMERA CHANGES FOCUS FROM THE SNOWFLAKE
TO THE LEGS OF THE BALLET-DANCER.
CAMERA SLOWLY MOVES UP FROM THE LEGS ONTO HEAD AND
FREEZES ON THE EYES OF THE
BALLET-DANCER.
 
She looks at something or someone.
                                                                   CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: CAMERA SLOWLY MOVES UP FROM THE LEGS ONTO
HEAD AND FREEZES ON THE EYES
OF THE SOLDIER.
 
The ballet-dancer is looking at him and he is looking at her.
 
                                                                   CUT TO:
HER EYES
                                                                   CUT TO:
HIS EYES
                                                                   CUT TO:
HER EYES
                                                                   CUT TO:
HIS EYES
                                                                   CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: We are able to see the ballet-dancer and a melted snowflake
in front of her.
CAMERA SLOWLY MOVES UP TO HER EYES.
                                                                   CUT TO:
HIS EYES
 
 
                                                             FADE TO BLACK:
FADE UP: 
Dolly: Now we are able to see that they are
dreaming about a desert Island.
There they can be alone and cannot be interrupted by anyone.
Zoom in: Slowly camera zooms in. We can see
the ballet-dancer dancing,
then she falls into his arms and kisses him.
They stand embracing each other.
 
Suddenly, the ballet-dancer disappears.
                                                             FADE TO BLACK:
FADE UP: Soldier opens his eyes and starts looking
for his love. He spends
some time to search her on the shelves and stops
his eyes on the counter.
CLOSE UP: He sees that the ballet-dancer
is put into the box.
                                                                   CUT TO:
CLOSE UP: Parcel tape is in seller’s hands.
FADE TO BLACK:
                               Parcel Tape (S.O)
                                  Whzeeh
                                                                   CUT TO:
FADE UP: Few snowflakes enter the shop and one of them
falls on the soldier
’s head
and water drops start falling from his eyes. Soldier
stays on his duty alone
and with his head hanged down…
THE END

4 comments:

Jackie said...

This is so sad... will you have a musical score as the background? Looking forward to seeing the results!

tutorphil said...

Interim Online Review 16/02/2010

Hey Alex,

You've worked hard to reduce your story down - and the simplicity of your written script reflects that. I think the narration is working for you too, as it spins your story into a timeless, warm/sad bedtime tale. What I want to see from you now is some real art direction confidence - for instance, the colour values of your shop versus the colour values of the desert island; I'm thinking,,,

http://www.spamula.net/blog/i24/ernst1.jpg

versus.

http://www.abcgallery.com/G/gauguin/gauguin44.html

Also - in terms of character design, I want you to develop a very distinctive style - and I think you should look to Eastern European folklore etc. for inspiration - something properly 'regional' - or very stylised, as in the work of Aubrey Beardsley or Erte - or not - but something striking, and perhaps a little angular, which then somehow softens when your characters get into the daydream of sea and sand.

Regarding the written assignment, see following comments for general advice - but pay particular attention to the second part, because it deals with ways by which to cultivate a more formal and objective style in your academic writing.

tutorphil said...

“1,500 word written assignment that analyses critically one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure; you should consider camera movement, editing, and the order of scenes”


While the essay questions asks you to analyse one film in terms of the relationship between story and structure, you are nonetheless expected to contextualise your analysis – and that means you have to widen your frame of reference to include discussion of other, related films and associated ideas – and also the ‘time-line’ within which your case-study sits.

So, for example, if you are focusing on a scene in a contemporary film which makes dramatic use of montage editing and quick-fire juxtaposition of imagery (the fight scenes in Gladiator, the beach landings in Saving Private Ryan, the bird attacks in The Birds…) no discussion of this scene would be complete without you first demonstrating your knowledge of the wider context for your analysis – i.e., the ‘invisible editing’ approach as championed by W.D. Griffith, and the alternate ‘Eisensteinian’ collisions adopted by Russian filmmakers (and now absorbed into the grammar of mainstream movies). In order to further demonstrate your appreciation for the ‘time-line’ of editing and its conventions, you should make reference to key sequences in key films – ‘The Odessa Steps sequence’ from Sergei Eistenstein’s Battleship Potemkin (as in scene in the Cutting Edge documentary, but also viewable here in full

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps-v-kZzfec

Also – if further proof were needed of the influence of this scene, watch

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yH1tO2D3LCI&feature=related

The Cutting Edge documentary, as shown on Monday 15th Feb, is viewable on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJcQgQHR78Q

If you choose to quote from any of the ‘talking head’ sections (Ridley Scott, Walter Murch etc.), in support of your discussion, ensure you put the documentary’s original details in your bibliography (as opposed to the You Tube url). For official title and release date etc. visit

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cutting-Edge-Magic-Editing-Region/dp/B0009PVZEG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1266311784&sr=1-1

Put simply, whatever film you choose to discuss, you will need to link it to its ‘ancestors’ and also, where appropriate, to its ‘children’ – i.e., what influenced it/what it influenced.

Regarding the ‘language of editing etc.’ the following site is useful – if ugly!

http://www.aber.ac.uk/media/Documents/short/gramtv.html

I suggest you use it only as a starting point for focusing your research parameters – not as the fount of all knowledge (it isn’t!).

Something that keeps coming up is how to cite websites using the Harvard Method:

GO HERE!!!!! IT’S GOT ALL THE ANSWERS!

http://www.ucreative.ac.uk/index.cfm?articleid=25881

tutorphil said...

Stylistically, many students’ essays still lack the required formality and tone for a University level written assignment. Many of you write as if you’re ‘chatting’ to your reader or writing a blog entry. This is inappropriate and you need to cultivate a more appropriate style if your discussions are to be authoritative and properly presented. Below are some suggestions re. use of language; take note and use!

Use good, formal English and grammar,

see: http://www.ucl.ac.uk/internet-grammar/home.htm

Use objective language: e.g. rather than 'I find it difficult to identify ...'

'It is often difficult to identify...'
'It can be seen that...
'There are a number of...'

Adopt a cautious academic style; avoid conclusive statements: e.g. use may, might, it seems that, appears to, possibly, probably, seemingly, the evidence suggests that, it could be argued that, research indicates...

Avoid assumptions and generalisations: e.g. everyone can see, everybody knows, public opinion is...

If you make a statement, always present evidence to support it.

Within your essay you will be hoping to demonstrate or prove something. You will have a point of view that you wish to convey to your reader. In other words, your essay should 'say' something.

You should support what you wish to say with a reasoned argument and evidence.

A reasoned argument consists of a series of logical steps you make in order to lead to a point where you can form some sort of judgement on the issue you have been examining, or come to some sort of conclusion.

Paragraphs are organised in order to build your argument in a series of logical steps

A typical paragraph is concerned with a single step in your argument

The first sentence of a paragraph is the topic sentence. It clearly states which step in your argument you intend to deal with in this paragraph

Subsequent sentences explain, define and expand upon the topic sentence

Evidence is offered

Evidence is commented on

A conclusion may be reached

Try to make each paragraph arise out of the previous paragraph and lead into the subsequent one

Below are some useful ‘linking’ words and phrases that suit the formal tone of an academic assignment – get used to using them to structure clear, articulate and confident sounding sentences.

To indicate timescales:
when, while, after, before, then

To draw conclusions:
because, if, although, so that, therefore

To offer an alternative view:
however, alternatively, although, nevertheless, while
To support a point:
or, similarly, incidentally

To add more to a point:
also, moreover, furthermore, again, further, what is more, in addition, then
besides, as well
either, not only, but also, similarly, correspondingly, in the same way, indeed
with respect to, regarding

To put an idea in a different way:
in other words, rather, or, in that case
in view of this, with this in mind
to look at this another way

To introduce and use examples:
for instance, for example, namely, an example of this is
such as, as follows, including
especially, particularly, notably

To introduce an alternative viewpoint:
by contrast, another way of viewing this is, alternatively, again, 
rather, another possibility is..
conversely, in comparison, on the contrary, although, though

To return to emphasise an earlier point:
however, nonetheless, despite, in spite of
while.. may be true
although, though, at the same time, although.. may have a good point

To show the results of the argument:
therefore, accordingly, as a result
so, it can be seen that
resulting from this, consequently, now
because of this, hence, for this reason, owing to, this suggests
 that, it follows that
in other words, in that case, that implies

To sum up or conclude:
therefore, in conclusion, to conclude, on the whole
to summarise, to sum up, in brief, overall, thus

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